Just this once
by eraste1890
Summary: Set right after the finale. Korra and Asami leave for their vacation, but what if the kiss was one-sided ? Asami's PoV in this quest for love and understanding.
1. Chapter 1

A/N : Hi, this is my first english fic, and my first 'Legend of Korra' one as well. So please, review if you feel that something isn't right (I also gladly accept comments saying that there is some right in this), for I aim to please !  
Please also note that I don't own anything, nor the characters, nor the original story. I won't make any profit by posting this, and strongly advise you to watch the show, it's worth your while ! 

* * *

As they left to the spirit world, driven by a sudden inspiration and a desire that she felt for quite a long time towards the Avatar, Asami suddenly kissed Korra with all she had. And that meant it was quite a kiss. So good, that at the beginning, Korra couldn't help but respond to it, despite the shock it caused her. And then the spirit world appeared, slowly, but already reflecting the Avatar's feelings.

And as they parted, Asami noticed everything wasn't exactly right with her friend. For the sky was troubled, clouds forming above their head, dark enough to portend rain.  
Did it mean sadness ? Incomprehension ? Asami couldn't quite decide what it was, and suddenly did kind of regret that the sky didn't reflect her own feelings of hope and love. Her care. It wouldn't have been a bright sun, but something more tamed, like a sunrise and a discreet scent of autumn's beginning. Everything she wanted to pass on Korra with that kiss, and that she didn't manage to throw at her.

Because if Korra understood everything that this kiss meant, the skies wouldn't look like that. For it would mean… well, it was better not to think about it. She could already feel the dread of rejection, and it stung. Hard.

For several moments, she couldn't dare to look at Korra. But as the seconds passed, slowly turning into minutes, the situation felt more and more awkward. Her… friend was still holding hands with her, sweaty uncomfortable hands, and they were not far from slipping away.

And it was weird how this clumsy handholding represented their relationship as it now seemed to be ; if Asami tried to regain grip by holding only a bit harder, they surely would slip. Korra would slip away. As when she dated Mako, as if there wasn't even a connection between the girls already. So Asami did the only thing she could do to prevent the Avatar from getting away.

She slowly let her own hand fall to her side, and looked at Korra with a false grin that couldn't have fooled anyone, especially not her long time best friend, and struggled to let out a feeble and still forcibly joyful 'so let's begin vacations already !', without crying. Not now.

Now, everything was in the hands of her best friend. Would she pretend to buy it ? Buy some time ? Pretend to enjoy vacations and go back to Republic city and part there, without a world ? It wasn't like Korra to just leave things unsaid. But it was exactly how it was since the beginning. Between them. For the bravery the Avatar displayed in all things, there was an equal amount of cowardice and carefully hidden discomfort in her dealings with Asami.

And this time was no exception, apparently. Korra flipped a smile and said they'd better get going, and find a spot to spend the night.

Despite the weird silence that was now between them, it felt somehow good to see that Korra wasn't turning back yet. But this spirit world, that was supposed to be so beautiful, was a curse for Asami.

Because it was like Korra was constantly under a truth detector, and her emotions were on full display for everyone to see. And Asami suddenly didn't want to know. She didn't want to see these black clouds all week. Feel the icy air. And suddenly, despite her feeling that it couldn't get any worse, the thunder came.

Heavy rain, and lightning coming from all around them. Korra grasped her hand once more, looking totally lost, and began to run through the tempest she brought.  
Or maybe it was the tempest Asami brought. Through the rain, no one could see her tears fall, and because of the rain's noise, she was the only one to hear her own sobbing. And she cried for her one-sided love while running, quietly. Hoping Korra would calm down just a little, for she couldn't face the rain, the running, the darkness, the guilt, and, most of all, the silence.


	2. Chapter 2

Enjoy chapter two !

Please note that I don't own anything, nor the characters, nor the original story. I won't make any profit by posting this, and strongly advise you to watch the show, it's worth your while !

* * *

The best place Korra could have thought about was this great cave, cold and dark, in the middle of an unknown forest. That AND it was crowded with spiders. It's not that Asami was particularly scared of them, but try facing a two meters high one, even if it was currently sleeping, without letting out some shivers.

'Hm, Korra ? What can we do about them ? whispered Asami

'Just let me deal with it, it won't take long'.

The tone of the Avatar was protective and assured. Avatar-like. The engineer didn't purposefully distinguished two different personalities, Korra on one side, and the Avatar on the other, but sometimes it felt so. Like there was a switch, and if you worked it out correctly, you could access to one side or the other. For the time being, Asami needed protection. The Avatar provided it.

And as Korra was being the brave, self-assured Avatar that provided calmness and hope for the people around her, the rain stopped. As simple as that. Seeing that they were in no more immediate danger, without even waking the big evil scary monster of the cave, they left, running once again, under the clouded but no more threatening sky.

Korra bursted out a laugh, soon followed by Asami. As if nothing happened previously. And the young Head of the tech corp. was quite happy with this situation for the moment, for it meant that she didn't lose her friend. For the time being. But sooner or later, she would have to face the consequences of such a kiss.

'that went pretty well, uh ? I'm so sorry I dragged you in here, I didn't know these HUGE spiders were there'.

'if someone asks later, don't tell them I was kind of freaking out', Asami added, still laughing from the fearful escape they just made. 'my gigantic ego would not survive it'.

'well, all things considered, maybe returning there is for the best…'

These moments of lightness and carelessness were rare for the girls, as they lived through quite a rough time, and both of them wanted to make the most of it.

'what about beginning this vacation you proposed ? The sun is quite bright, we could certainly begin with some sort of hike before it sets down...'

They both suddenly remembered why they had to run to the nearest dangerous cave in the first place, and the clouds came back, slowly,but without threatening to immediately pour rain on them.

'that is, if you can control your mood swings' added somehow bitterly Asami.

'well, it isn't as if you were totally faultless in this whole situation ! Listen, I... I'm sorry, Asami. I don't know exactly how to face this kind of situation. I don't know how I'm supposed to feel... What I'm sure of is that... Well, I don't want for us to fight. Let's... Sort this out later, ok ? I'll try to keep us under the good weather for now, is that ok with you ?'

All Asami wanted to do was to drown into her sadness, or maybe yell to Korra that it wasn't what she wanted. That she, for once, was used to have everything she wanted, because her name or her hard work. She fought for what she wanted. She faced her problems, and she wanted Korra to do the same. Needed her to do so.

But at the same time, if she did it too soon, faced it with this sad, resigned mood, if was quite sure Asami wouldn't get what she wanted.

She would win Korra's heart, and if she didn't manage to do so, she would have their feelings discussed. A proper discussion, enabling both girls to move on. Because for now, their relationship was clouded with uncertainty, and she couldn't bear it.

And Asami raised her head, faced the Avatar with a determined look, and agreed, her voice distant, cold, but assured. She would begin plotting as soon as possible.


End file.
